A stormtrooper in Divaland? How on earth did I get here? And why? Why enter a land dominated by women? Cheeky women at that? Because, dearest reader, it’s there. And it’s filled with women. Duh. Plus, I’m a badass stormtrooper undaunted by divas. Unless they get angry. Then I hide on the floor curled up in the fetal position until the storm passes. I may or may not also pee my pants whilst I quiver in fear.
I met my dearest Cheeky (that’ my pet name for her – I have no idea if she approves) over in Le Clownosphere™ when she hosted Sunday Haikus. And she did a magnificent™ job. From there I followed her blog and through comment interaction and Twitter silliness, we became blogging buddies. At least, that’s how I think of us. Hopefully being considered my friend isn’t offensive to her. If so, I humbly apologize to her divaness. Profusely.
The Diva herself asked me if I would like one of her coveted guest blogger spots on Wednesday (that’s today, for those of you who haven’t had your coffee yet) and after thoughtful consideration I decided it would probably be beneficial for me to accept the invitation. In other words, I jumped up and down, did a cart-wheel, punted an Ewok, let out an excited whoop, slapped a newborn baby on the tush, smoked a stogie, called my loved ones, did some shots, cut some random ribbon, shot Greedo first, made it rain, and plastered my invitation on the refrigerator. Oh, and then I said yes. Excitedly. Kind of like when I ask my two-year old if he wants an M&M. YES!!!
I was, however, unsure what to write. What could I say that would be worthy of this epic blog? What could a lowly stormtrooper say to a fine group of readers who are used to reading the words of a diva? Of blog royalty?

We’re not worthy!!
Then it hit me like cramps minutes after eating Taco Bell: extol her. All divas love having praise heaped upon them. I’m sure this diva is no different. Plus, this praise would be genuine.
My dearest Cheeky has had a huge influence on the way I write. When I first began following her I was captivated by the voice in her writing. I loved it. I loved that in addition to having something substantial to say she wasn’t afraid to joke around and be silly while saying it. Up until that point, I only wrote like that in a journal I had to maintain while I was a sophomore in high school. I always thought writing like that wouldn’t be acceptable or would be ridiculed by other bloggers yet here was Cheeky racking up the hits and comments just being herself. So I started using my real writing voice instead of the manufactured voice (think Ben Stein) I thought readers wanted. Since that time, my readership has more than doubled and so has my reader interaction.
Another thing I’ve taken from Cheeky is her usage of pictures and adding hilarious captions to enhance her posts. You guys know the ones, right? Good ol’ Hortence? I love the way she incorporates pictures into her posts. So I started doing it as well. Not with Hortence, though. That would be plagiarism. Or something equally unethical.
Basically, what I’m saying is that my dearest Cheeky has been a huge influence on my writing style and I’d like to thank her for opening my eyes to what I was capable of doing with my blog. You have helped make blogging a much more fun and rewarding experience for me. I owe some of my success to your inspiration and from the bottom of my heart, dearest Cheeky, thank you. I know you will do well in your new writing endeavor and wish you all the success in the world.
Twindaddy,
Look at you, your white armor looks dashing in Cheeky land… but that dirty spot on your outfit, just there, on your shoulder. No, to your right. That’s it, just there. Perfect!
Le Clown
Le Clown,
Is it on my shoulder or on my nose?
Twindaddy
Twindaddy,
You win this one.
Le Clown
Le Clown,
Thank you. It’s about time I win at something.
Twindaddy
I love Cheeky,,she’s my crime fighter in the chick blog world as well in the twitterverse.
Hmmm,,,,I need to have a guest post day on my blog, if only to have people heap compliments on moi!
I was surprised and humbled by this outpouring of affection for me. Twindaddy is your man if you need some serious ego boosting. 🙂
Yes,,,his wife is certainly a lucky woman,,he better be as complimentive to her or we will have to kick his storm trooper ass.
Yeah, you should read my blog more often…
har har,,,,you dork,,,,,it’s my second bible!
Perhaps you should pick it up then. You haven’t read it in the last few days, methinks.
You shouldn’t be surprised, Cheeky. I’m certainly not the only one who has noticed your literary prowess. Just Unfollow? Yes, they did, too.
🙂
I meant every word. In all honesty, Le Clown and Cheeky have been huge influences on my writing style. From their examples I started putting more and more of my own stamp on it.
Reblogged this on Stuphblog and commented:
Stuph Maphia™!! Today I represent in a diva’s house. Go on over and check it out. And as always, do your part and click the almight follow button during your visit. Her cheekiness is definitely a blog worth following.
Ok you convinced me – I’m following the Cheeky Diva… great post – I hope you didn’t pee your pants…or maybe I do…
Why thank you! Twindaddy works cheap. I hardly had to pay him anything for this glowing post.
so he’s cheap and easy? 🙂
Yes. And very good at what he does. He’s the most UnShitty of bloggers!
Yahoo!!
I am right now!! Want directions to the house? Lol.
ha ha – you so funny….
I try. I really do.
My husband’s laughing right now 😉
Hahaha! Yay for laughter!
Yeah, when WILL I see that money, by the way?
Money? I only pay with baked goods. Just ask the guy who took care of my snow last week. I make a mean chocolate cake.
Can I have a nice chocolate cake instead? I’m done with mean things for a while.
She hasn’t gotten angry yet. If she does I’ll let you know.
Back when I had a tonsilectomy, I couldn’t eat much solid food for about a week. Once I healed up and felt comfortable eating real food again, I decided to have Taco Bell. MISTAKE! I still shudder to think what I did to that bathroom.
I love me some Taco Bell. What’s wrong with you peoples? And yes, I said peoples. Baja Chalupas are the best!
I like Taco Bell. But it probably isn’t the best way to reintroduce your stomach to solid food.
Oh heavens no. Taco Bell and my stomach always seem to have a Battle Royale to the death, but my mouth doesn’t really care.
Same here. So it only gets consumed on weekends when I won’t be at work.
As I said…it so good going in, but it wrecks the place on it’s way out.
concurring again.
Like?
It tastes so good, but does so much damage. It’s pure awesome evilness. How cruel.
Nothing like buttering up a diva to get on her good side. 😉
And while you are both here, I’d just like to say that you’ve both been a huge influence on my own blogging style; reading what you’ve posted has encouraged me to change up my own posts, explore other topics, and never be afraid to just say what is on my mind, whether that is in haiku form or not. So, thank you both! You are both awesome!!!
Thanks to you too! I think we all learn something from reading other’s work, and I am really looking forward to helping you out with a guest post when your new baby arrives. 🙂
Yay! So excited… hmm, now am I more excited about the guest post or the kiddo… hmm… anyone have a coin I can flip? 😉
Oh my god, if you aren’t jumping up and down at the thought of having a new baby to love and cherish, then you need a serious ass whooping, and I know just who can do it. 🙂
Don’t stormtroopers shoot first and ask questions later? I’m not sure he’d be good at the “ass whooping” Ass blastering? Yes.
(I’m so ridiculously excited about the kiddo – it’s all I can seem to think and talk about these days.)
Good. As you should be. Brace yourself, though. It’s a wild, yet extremely fun ride.
Braced. And still pretty sure I’m going to be knocked for a loop.
You will be. You will feel love like you’ve never felt before. It’s an amazing feeling.
That’s as it should be. 🙂
I’m ready to serve, ma’am.
Well thank you!
If you did pee your pants, I believe your suit has a recycling function, right?
God I hope so. I haven’t had to test that yet.
Why – is there also an escape hatch?
Um, you know…this thing didn’t come with a manual. I have no idea how it operates. It takes me forever just to pee. I should probably look into this a little further.
All you troopers probably look at Iron Man and cry in your beer.
Well, yeah. We don’t have weapons like that built into our “plastic” armor. It’s not fair.
What does that armor protect you from, exactly? It can’t stop lasers, blasters or the force, so, what… skateboarding accidents?
Rug burn, I think. And bug bites.
Low bulkheads?
Actually we find them more often with the helmets on…
Or do you just ‘force’ it out? ha ha!
Oh, clever. Bravo. Lol.
The problem with having 1200 posts and poor categorization is that I can’t locate this easily, but I’m sure I’ve written a post that has a parody of Star Wars using the song ‘Greased Lightning’, replacing it with ‘Force Lightning’.
That’s a GREAT idea!
What do you know – here it is!
http://edwardhotspur.wordpress.com/2012/09/17/the-british-sci-fi-workplace-villain-post/
This was very nicely done. I was worried when I saw the picture. I thought I was going to have to round up a big froup of rag-tag revolutionary rebels, guys in fuzzy costumes and some computer generated freaks and storm the Diva’s home world to rescue her. We don’t even have light sabers… just electric carving knives.
Those still might cut through the plastic armor, so watch where you point them!
It’s okay… we forgot to bring the extension chords.
Oh, good. So we’ll dual with sporks then?
Plastic ones… still in the bags. Safety first. And when eating out, always use a condiment.
Good. So we’ll meet at Taco Bell later to arm ourselves?
But no dipping your spork in the hot sauce… I know how you storm troopers operate.
But it’s goooooooooood!
I love the fire sauce. Do they sell it in bottles?
Hmmm…I don’t know but nothing is stopping you from walking in and grabbing a bunch of the packets.
I get a bag full whenever I go.
Nice! I actually think I recall seeing bottles of their sauce in a grocery store once. So it may be out there. Somewhere.
Thank you for giving me hope, oh noble warrior of a cruel and soon-to-be-overthrown Empire.
Awesome. If anyone can have a good influence on someone, it’s Cheeky!! Love the Hortense picture/caption. 🙂
She liked it, too. Imitation. Flattery. And such.
What can I say except excellent job filling in for Cheeky Diva! We Divas like to be wooed.
So I did a satisfactory job flattering her Divaness? Yay!
I love crossovers!
Love it!
Thanks!