Cheeri-O my good man, let’s have a go at Downton Abbey!

I have to start by saying I have a few bones to pick with this show, especially last week’s season premiere, but, I will be picking  with my pinky firmly up in the air, because that’s more fancy.

If you don’t watch read.

If you do watch but aren’t caught up yet, don’t read.

If you really don’t give a crap about this show, then by all means, read.

If you are dying to watch, but haven’t had a chance, then don’t read.

Oh who am I kidding, you know I want EVERYBODY to read, so just consider this first paragraph your complimentary

SPOILER ALERT

Highclere Castle (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Okay, Downton Abbey is a series that airs on PBS and it follows the Crawley Family.  Who lives at Downton Abbey, the TV alter ego of the real life Highclere Castle.  The Crawley family appears to be ultra rich and posh, and dandy and all that jolly old English stuff.

I am new to this series, but in two weekends of living with a good old American virus, I found myself in bed and on the couch a lot more than usual.  I took advantage of all of this Downtime Apathy to get caught up on Downton Abbey.

I watched the first season, (the Brits call it a series, very confusing) two weekends ago, and the second season last weekend.

After the two seasons that span the years from 1912 to 1920, I was chomping at the bit to see the highly anticipated 3rd season premiere.

I was daunted by the fact that my beloved DVR said the show was 2 hours long.  And that’s with no commercials.  Them fine folks across that big pond sure know how to make them thar TV shows, don’t they? ? But I pressed on.  I was dying to see it.

I sat in front of the TV, waiting to be awed and overwhelmed.  I was just super excited to see the wedding of Mary Crawley and her cousin Matthew Crawley.  Yep, there’s inbred hillbillies in Jolly Old England, even in them big fancy castles.

What a letdown!  You see that picture?  That was it!  We see Mary walk down the aisle, smile at her soon to be Cousin-Husband and then they cut to another scene.  We didn’t even get to see these people who are already related by blood become related again by marriage.  Bummer!

What was even more disappointing than the wedding?  The dress!  Aaaaack!  I know it’s the 1920’s.  I know they just had a war and stuff, but come on?  “Mary dear, we’re doing our part for the recovery effort, so just pull that sheet off of your bed and throw it on. We’ll put a belt on you, and you can use the leftover mosquito netting from Papa’s trip to Bora Bora for a veil.  You’ll look simply divine, my little darling!”

As long as we’re on the subject of wardrobe, let’s get real.  This is a bigass estate.  We have mom, three daughters and Granny.  So all these years have passed, and we see the same dresses over and over and over!  They have to dress for dinner every night, and again, yeah, they just had like a big war, but do you really expect me to believe these women keep wearing the same dresses?  Mrs Hughes and Miss O’Brien  (The housekeeper and Mrs. Crawley’s lady’s maid) both got new dresses, so what about the Crawley women?

I can only think of a couple of explanations.  Either even the super rich didn’t really have access to the latest fashions between the sinking of The Titanic and Armistice Day, or, the Carnarvon family, who really lives in Highclere Castle keeps the production crew on a tight schedule so as not to disrupt their lives, meaning that multiple scenes are filmed at the same time or, the wardrobe budget for this show is pretty low.

downton-abbey-episode-7 (Photo credit: Evian Tsai)

How much can it cost to produce episodes of this show anyway?  They go to a castle, that already has all the furnishings and stuff, and they don’t let anybody have any new clothes.  I’m sure they pay a lot of dough to use that castle, but I’m betting that the biggest part of the budget goes to pay Maggie Smith and keep her happy.  At least it should.  She is the best thing Downton Abbey has going for it, and even if she’s raking in a bazillion dollars an episode (that’s a lot of money) she’s worth every sixpence, or shilling or whatever that might translate to.

That’s enough about the clothes.  Let’s get to the family itself.  Since there are only daughters, and in England at this time women couldn’t inherit property, they could only be property, the three Crawley sisters are out of luck.  Thank goodness there was a good-looking cousin for one of them to marry, that way when Pa-pa kicks the bucket, the family won’t be living in the barn.

I’m wondering how the family has survived this long at all. They seem to be hanging on to this estate by the skin of their chinny chin chin.  Dad, The right high Earl and Lordship or whatever you call him married her ladyship for her money to keep the estate afloat.  If that ain’t romance, I don’t know what is!

Now they are all in love and stuff, but it didn’t start that way.  Lord Crawley not only has to marry an American heiress to keep from being homeless, but then he  invests almost all of her money in railroad futures that don’t pay off, so now they are broke again.  WTF?  Sorry, I know it’s going to move the story along, but jeez? How much are we supposed to believe here?  Now Mary is begging her new husband AND her American Granny Shirley MacLaine for more money.  This is the most elegant family of beggars and freeloaders that I’ve ever seen on my tv.

I guess the bigger they are, the harder they fall.  Now the low-budget wedding and wearing the same dresses for all those years kinda makes more sense, doesn’t it?

I felt bad for the millions of viewers who had waited so many months for this premiere.  I felt let down and cheated, and I only had to wait a few hours for the premiere after watching season two.  I wondered how many long time viewers were a little disappointed.

In reality, other than the lavish sets and costumes, (even though we see the same ones too often) I find the stories of the household servants to be much more interesting and entertaining.  But like my husband says, it’s a symbiotic relationship.  The Crawley’s and the servants depend upon each other for survival, like the Jedi and The Force.

I’ll keep watching the Crawleys as they do their best to keep a stiff upper lip and claw their way back from poverty.  All with pinkys up I’m sure.

What’s your take on this show?  Like? Hate? Lemme know!

Related articles

• Downton Abbey Estate Highclere Castle Hosts Weddings, Private Events
• How best to come calling at Downton Abbey?
• Dan Stevens to leave Downton Abbey at start of Series 4
• Behind the scenes at “Downton Abbey”
• Photos: ‘Downton Abbey,’ on location
• Photos: ‘Downton Abbey,’ on location
• ‘Downton Abbey’ close to Wyoming rancher’s heart
• Downton Abbey Power Rankings
• English Countryside Rentals Inspired by Downton Abbey
• Finally Finally – We’re Getting Back to Downton Abbey